I Don’t Get Paid For This – Why Being Apart of the Conversation Kind of Sucks

For as long as I can remember I have always wanted the newest, most popular games. Of course, I didn’t always get them right away when I was younger. Realistically I only had two times a year, two chances, to get a new game. When I got older though and had my first job, everything was going towards video games. I wanted to be able to talk about them on the forums. I didn’t want things spoiled for me, even before this spoiler culture came about.

This sentiment still sticks with me, annoying. I have always wanted to be in the gaming industry. Whether it be making the games, or writing about them. I think after the whole Tell Tale mass closure seemingly out of nowhere, and all this shit about “crunch” in the industry, making games is just off the table for me. I can’t dedicate enough time to start learning that sort of stuff anymore. I have too many things in my life that require my attention that it’s just not feasible, or really wanted.

So I have been towards writing about games. About the industry. This makes me feel like I have to get every new game possible. All the heavy hitters. I even got Assassin’s Creed Odyssey not only because I actually a pretty big fan of the series since the beginning, but I felt like it was going to be a much talked about game and I needed to be in that discussion. I knew very little about the game and had even less interest in actually playing it at the time, but I still bought it anyways. Granted, I love the game right now, but I feel myself trying to rush through it and get to the end so I can review the game or do something with that information.

I don’t get paid for any of this. I have written reviews and articles for various sites, but never really got paid for it. Got free game codes, sure, but not for good games. It was always shovelware. So why am I acting like this is my job? I am not apart of the games industry. I run a shitty little blog that that gets updated maybe once a week. My most viewed article is a joke about how fucking poor Spider-Man is.

I am starting to slow down on my gaming. I don’t want to feel like I need to beat these games so quickly and really not experience what that world has to offer me. I am actually running around the world in Odyssey and doing side quests, exploring as much as I can. Going back to old areas and finding new hidden stuff. The game is still bloated with shit content, let’s be honest here, but there is still more to see in that massive game than just the linear storytelling it has.

I would love to eventually start getting paid to write about games. To talk and write about games is a near and dear hobby of mine. But being apart of the conversation isn’t always worth it. Spend time with these games. Let everything sink in and enjoy them for as long as possible. The gaming world might pass you by, but you will still get these experiences and there will always be people around to talk to you about them.