Why the Fuck is Spider-Man so Poor?

Insomniac’s newest game Spider-Man is officially a hit. It is the number one fastest-selling PlayStation 4 game, passing over the equally excellent God of War. This is fantastic, and further cement that single player games are not dying off in the industry. This is great and all, but we are not here to talk about that. We are here to talk about how fucking poor Peter Parker is.

Minor Spider-Man 2018 Spoilers

In the new Spider-Man game, literally in the first minute of the game, we see Peter Parker get some mail saying his rent to his tiny apartment is overdue and that he will be evicted soon. Instead of taking care of this, he jumps out the window in broad daylight and starts the game off. Alright, so what is Peter doing that makes him completely neglect to pay his rent? Sure, being Spider-Man is a full-time job, but one that doesn’t pay; so should it?

Why is it that Tony Stark has figured out how to be a billionaire smarty-pants, and yet Peter Parker is slumming it on Aunt May’s couch. Peter is no dummy. He works for Doctor Octavius. He’s a freaking scientist for crying out loud! Sure, Octavius doesn’t pay much, but you would think that Pete would find a way to supplement his life, while still doing the things he loves.

Peter taking advantage of him being Spider-Man isn’t new. He got his job at the Daily Bugle by taking pictures of himself wearing his costume in action sequences, taking down bad guys and doing good things. So why hasn’t he done anything else?

In the game, you can collect backpacks. Each backpack has an item inside with little stories attached to them. There is one that you can get that has a Spider-man plushie prototype. Peter makes a remark how some toy manufacturer wanted to license his likeness to make merchandise, but he would have to reveal who he really was to get paid for it.

Why can’t they figure out a different way to do this? Why can’t he just sign as Spider-Man? Or pay him in cash, whatever works right? Sure, IRS and all that, but whatever. Or just start selling the stuff himself as Spider-Man. He already has a social media account with millions of followers. He could even go to little kids birthday parties. Like shit. He’s Spider-Man like, 75% of his life. He always has his suit.

He might as well put his alternate persona to use! At the very least he should be making people pay for all those selfies he takes with random people out on the streets.

Side note: Does being an Avenger come with a salary or something?

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